Posts by Stumpy

48

How many here gave up having a family for the sake of the "truth"?

by stuckinarut2 in

this is a sensitive topic for many of us i know, but i am wondering how many here actually gave up the idea of having a family "in this system" for the sake of "kingdom activity or service"??.

start the count here with my wife and i.

Stumpy

Yeah the last reference I could find Absalom is in the April 15 2012 Watchtower page 18.

Sorry for the situation your in, that's very tough. I hope it changes for you one day.

91

Setback

by EdenOne in

i saw this coming since my mother-in-law's funeral .... the congregation's "love-bombing" over my wife had its impact.

i watched her drawing closer and closer to her friends in the congregation.

then she decided she would attend the memorial.

Stumpy

I'm so sorry EdenOne. That sucks. You were right when you said to me a few days ago how powerful the pull is! If we were close by I'd pick you up and take you out for a or

48

How many here gave up having a family for the sake of the "truth"?

by stuckinarut2 in

this is a sensitive topic for many of us i know, but i am wondering how many here actually gave up the idea of having a family "in this system" for the sake of "kingdom activity or service"??.

start the count here with my wife and i.

Thank you Lois. We are very sorry for all the heartache that you have been through too. You've suffered a lot more than we have. There is so much pain here that could easily have been avoided. The sad thing is we all thought we were doing it for God, that just adds to the pain when you realize it was all for nothing.

48

How many here gave up having a family for the sake of the "truth"?

by stuckinarut2 in

this is a sensitive topic for many of us i know, but i am wondering how many here actually gave up the idea of having a family "in this system" for the sake of "kingdom activity or service"??.

start the count here with my wife and i.

Stumpy

Here's a quote about marriage and children from the "Face the Facts" booklet in 1938...

Here are the quotes from the "Children" book 3 years later in 1941. It's a little less direct but very manipulative...

The conclusion John and Eunice came to...

And this is what the 1941 Sep 15 Watchtower said, showing how close they thought the end was during this time, (and a perfect example of strong manipulation)...

And yes, me and Mrs Stumpy gave up having kids in this 'system'. The Mar 1, 1988 Watchtower Billy referred to had a LOT to do with that decision. Now we're too old - in our 50's. We got married a bit later in life as we thought we were doing the right thing serving God fulltime while we were single. We will never know the joy of being parents

205

Hi Everyone. Answer to prayer countdown...

by Stumpy in

jw
friends

i've been lurking for about 3 months now and thought i'd better finally sign up.

you have all been an immense help to me as i have come to realize that this isn't the truth so i want to say a great big thank you!

what a crazy, emotional ride it is to finally face the truth about the doubts that i have carried for many years.

Stumpy

Not to worry guys, I'm using Australia as an alias. I am from there originally but it was a long time ago. If they look there for me they will be wasting their time

205

Hi Everyone. Answer to prayer countdown...

by Stumpy in

jw
friends

i've been lurking for about 3 months now and thought i'd better finally sign up.

you have all been an immense help to me as i have come to realize that this isn't the truth so i want to say a great big thank you!

what a crazy, emotional ride it is to finally face the truth about the doubts that i have carried for many years.

Stumpy

Thanks Karter.

Berrygerry, yes we are dealing with all of these too

Oh, and guess what Circuit Assembly part I was just assigned...

205

Hi Everyone. Answer to prayer countdown...

by Stumpy in

jw
friends

i've been lurking for about 3 months now and thought i'd better finally sign up.

you have all been an immense help to me as i have come to realize that this isn't the truth so i want to say a great big thank you!

what a crazy, emotional ride it is to finally face the truth about the doubts that i have carried for many years.

Stumpy

Giordano thank you for sharing your experience. I can't imagine what it was like doing this 48 years ago with no support! You have my respect. I too am figuring out a way to make our publisher cards 'disappear' if we just leave.

Cha Ching, thank you so much for sharing your story too. We have a LOT in common. I'll post my reasons for leaving in a few days. I'm starting to see they are very similar, maybe only in a different order, to many, many others here.

Thank you too for this advice...

So, as everyone, every, everyone here has said and advised, "Think long and hard and wait and think before you act..." Maybe even a few months before you decide... and don't talk. Let it all settle in, get a clear picture, a clear goal.

True to the End that was very unkind, especially considering all the people hurting for legitimate reasons here. My reason for losing my faith has nothing to do with other people. Believe me, I have had plenty of chances to be stumbled by men, including many missionaries, CO's, DO's, fellow elders and Bethelites. I kept my faith regardless of how certain ones have treated us and others. I will post my story in a day or two and you can read for yourself why I have lost faith in the religion of Jehovah's Witnesses - I never said anything about losing faith in God. Stop jumping ahead and assuming what people's motives are and please have some empathy for people who's hearts have been broken and are trying to heal.

Splash that was an awesome analogy, thank you.

LisaRose beautifully put. Thank you!

The two of us have had a rough couple of days, lot's of tears and overwhelming feelings of "what have we done!"... "is there anyway we could stay in and forget what we now know?"... "why did we start looking into this!"... "why didn't we stop?"... "I want my old life back!"... "how are we going to cope?"... "what are we going to do now?"

I know this is part of the process and you have all gone through it... but it hurts so bad

You have all been sooo welcoming and encouraging - thank you, thank you, thank you! We have read and re-read your comments many times. They mean a lot to us.

Stumpy

48

Struggling

by Alive! in

i read here regularly and although i haven't joined in, i really appreciate all the wonderful contributions from those who are willing to share their experiences.... .

i was a convert.

i won't go into the whole history ( perhaps another day) - my story could easily be recognised in the small town where i live, with my husband.. so, we stopped going to the meetings around a period of time when we were going through severe emotional difficulties - at that point, we needed unconditional family love - the hectic, forced jw dinner parties and social occasions gave no real comfort.

Stumpy

Hi Alive,

Big hugs from me and Mrs Stumpy too. We're both feeling very raw like you too at the moment so you have a lot of sympathy and empathy from us.

I started going out on service nearly every day - my heart sank more and more as uncomfortable realities kept challenging me. I would endure, for the "truth". But the "truth" was falling apart.

I know EXACTLY how you feel, this was me too.

My life is not one big sad story and neither is my future.

I guess I'm just processing this transition.

I do have much to look forward to - but as you all know, it's no small thing to have your beliefs die on you...and to lose your "life" as you knew it in the process

That's a great outlook Alive, one we're trying to maintain too. It's very difficult to loose everything you've believed in all your life though hey. We too gave up having kids for the truth and the thought of never being parents hurts so bad sometimes

Again BIG hugs from us!

205

Hi Everyone. Answer to prayer countdown...

by Stumpy in

jw
friends

i've been lurking for about 3 months now and thought i'd better finally sign up.

you have all been an immense help to me as i have come to realize that this isn't the truth so i want to say a great big thank you!

what a crazy, emotional ride it is to finally face the truth about the doubts that i have carried for many years.

Stumpy

Hi and thank you again for all your thoughtful comments and virtual hugs. They mean so much.

We've had some good chats over the weekend and in a few minutes we're going for a big walk to talk some more. I wanted to reply to some of your questions and comments before we went though...

Ding: Mind telling us what the key issue or issues were for you?

Give me a few days mate and I'll compose my thoughts on this a bit better. I wanted to do this anyways to get some clarity for myself and also so I can re-read it over again when I start to question myself.

Becksi: It turns out that moving to the opposite side of the planet works wonders for a successful fade

I think that would be one of the best ways to fade for sure. I can't say to much but we too made a big move in the not to distant past. Damn I wish the timing of my "awakening" had of been better and coincided better with the move. We have residency for a few different countries so it could be an option down the road.

Vidiot: Damn, Stumpy; way to take the deep end of the pool, dude. You don't do anything half-assed, do you?

Yeah I know... that can be a curse sometimes because now it will make it harder to leave the truth. It helps that I love reading and have about 4 hours free a day. Plus my business has a bit of commuting involved so I can make use of that time listening to audiobooks.

Doc: Some days I still wish I'd have taken the "Blue Pill".

Thank you for saying this Doc, I feel exactly the same way some times and I'm glad this is normal.

DO NOT discuss your doubts and your awakening of TTATT to ANYONE who is a JW. You CANNOT TRUST anyone right now, and that is esp your fellow Elders. Your best friend may "turn you in" thinking they can "save you" -- snatch you out of the fire.

Good advice, thank you. It's very tempting to say things, especially other elder mates when they question things to you so I'll heed this advice closely.

I know of an Elder who turned in his Shepherding the Flock book and all of his TMS records to the COBE and said "I need a break". That was his last time in a Kingdom Hall. He & his wife never tried to explain anything. They never agreed to meet with Elders. They just took a break and are "waiting on Jehovah". STFU and move on!

Did this work for them??? Today we're going to look at all of our 'fading' options.

Dubstepped: A quote I like is to "run with those that search for truth, and run like hell from those that claim to have found it".

I like that.

Ding: The elders I know personally seem to have been selected based on their willingness to swallow whatever the organization tells them and on their ability to forget all about teachings and practices they used to push the minute those things become "old light."

Yes, I've worked with lots like that too. But I've also worked with many that are quite liberal and question things, albeit very carefully. On our elders body right now about half are questioning quite openly among each other things in the latest 3 broadcasting videos. We have even made fun of the uber-witnesses who lap it all up. We've also had some very open discussions about the overlapping generation teaching. I've had to be very careful during these conversations! I'm also collecting data to use if I ever need to if they come after me.

Village Idiot: Seems that your wife has one foot out the door already.

Yes I've been very slowly helping her question things for about 3 months now. I'll write more about that in another post.

Freddo: Any family/extended family in? Are you looking to "walk away" without DF/DA or wake up as many as you can?

Yes, but none that I care about much except for my parents. I have a very dysfunctional family. My dad is a full in, black and white, never question the GB kind of man - also an elder - so I am worried about that. My wife has no-one in on her side thank goodness!

Kairos: Do you have other JW relatives or close friends you are struggling to keep?

Our close friends are the ones we are most worried about losing. We have both lived in a few different countries, single and as a couple so we have awesome friends all over the world. This is my wife's biggest concern.

EdenOne: You must ask yourselves what are you willing to lose by leaving

Yes that has been going through our minds these last few days.

One thing I did was to look back into my life as a believer and consider if all the things I used to credit Jehovah for in my personal life couldn't have an explanation that didn't require a supernatural intervention.

Funny you should mention that because my wife brought exactly the same thing up this morning! We have had things happen in our life that 'seemed' like answers to our prayers. We're going to talk about them on our walk this afternoon.

Make no mistake, it's a very very powerful pull, and some begin to rationalize that they can live with their doubts, or stay because of the social aspects of the life as a Witness, or that the Watchtower isn't so bad, because they're only "imperfect men".

Boy you're right on with this too mate. Both of us have said this to each other already.

Oubliette: you are both very fortunate in that you have each other. Most of us were not so lucky.

Yes I can see that I'm very, very lucky. I've read about others that are 'awake' on their own and my heart goes out to them. What a horrible place to be stuck in! I honestly thought that was going to be me for a while and it made me sick to my stomach just thinking about it

Dubstepped: I honestly think that if we could discuss openly the truths that we find that contradicted "THE TRUTH", and that if the organization as a whole had the humility to say that they really don't know on this or that instead of trying to predict things or read into things, then maybe someday I could find a place in the organization.

I feel exactly the same way at the moment. But the more I read the older publications the more I see a startling pattern of lack of humility. I also know from a very recent experience of a close friend (that I can't go into or it will blow my cover), that the GB members individually don't really have any power to change anything even if they want to. He was told all he could do was "wait on Jehovah". That was a sad realization for me.

fleshyheadedmutant: When we finally realized it just couldn't be the truth, we were bewildered, depressed, and felt like the rug had been pulled from beneath us.

Exactly how we feel right now.

Thank you again everybody for the time you have taken to encourage us. I can't believe there are over 80 comments and lots of PM's too! I'm looking forward to being able to help someone else like me one day soon too. Well we're going for that walk now. I'll write some more tomorrow.

205

Hi Everyone. Answer to prayer countdown...

by Stumpy in

jw
friends

i've been lurking for about 3 months now and thought i'd better finally sign up.

you have all been an immense help to me as i have come to realize that this isn't the truth so i want to say a great big thank you!

what a crazy, emotional ride it is to finally face the truth about the doubts that i have carried for many years.

Stumpy

Pete here is the link: http://tv.jw.org/#home

The video is titled: JW Broadcasting-April 2015. You might have to scroll through the big top carousal of videos till you get to it. It's the one after Song 139 video.